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THE PROBLEM WITH THE WRESTLING BUSINESS: PART ONE
By:Raven(scott levy)
Part
of the problem with the wrestling business today is that there are too many arm chair bookers buffoons like Glenn Gilbernetti,
for example. He insists that title belts are meaningless (much like his life) which is unquestionably the single most moronic
thing I have heard since he tried to tell me that Kanyon was straight. The reason he claims (albeit foolishly) that title
belts are meaningless is because he believes that no one could possibly care about a fake belt. That reasoning has more holes
in it than his unstylishly ripped jeans. Using his asinine logic, no one should care about the monster in Cloverfield because
it's really just some guy in a rubber suit.
No matter what fictional entertainment field you're engrossed in, be it
movies, TV, wrestling, or the opera, you, as an audience member agree to suspend disbelief (not unlike Glenn got suspended
in school for being a sissymary). Whether it's the world of magic for Harry Potter, or the world of the TV show X files, or
any other show, book, or what have you, each has its own unique world with its own unique rules. Things that did happen in
Harry Potter, like flying on a broom, would look totally foolish and ruin any credibility on a show like Journeyman, yet looks
perfectly believable in its own setting. Peter Parker being bitten by a radioactive spider and climbing the walls of Hogwarts
would make Harry Potter readers cry foul.
Wrestling has its own unique rules and vernacular and having a midget blow
up a boat to kill Sting (which WCW in its infinite stupidity once did) is completely farfetched because of its placement in
the supposed real world. Someone should have been arrested for attempted murder. Unfortunately wrestling is sometimes booked
in a vacuum where situations like that and Paul White the Giant falling off of Cobo Arena only to miraculously be unscathed
are thought to be clever when in actuality all they do in a best case scenario is insult loyal viewers and in a worst case
scenario turn people off the product for good. Wrestling is at its best when it's based in the real world and events are treated
as they would be in the real world. What amuses me most about Glenn Gilbernetti besides his four year old like exuberance
for stupidity, and his cloying yet obnoxious desire to be loved is that by all rights, what I am writing is something that
he should be in agreeance with.
He forced me to listen to a recent article he wrote while gleefully twisting his handlebar
moustache like some 1940's villain as his dog Muttley snickered nearby after tying me to the tracks as an oncoming train approached.
He stated that these IWFs (Internet Wrestling Fans) are hurting the business and goes on to elaborate, that it is because
they champion these non working cruiserweights who don't sell and kill credibility. He claims they sell for eight seconds
and stop, but I would venture to say that he is being exceedingly generous and three or four seconds is more likely. He also
misses the boat by not mentioning that this supposed "selling" that they are doing is not actually selling. When they do stop
running around, they go from registering to dying.
There is a whole entire range of emotion and body language on the
selling scale that could be encapsulated let's say for babyfaces as simply as 1)no selling, 2) registering, 3) selling a little,
4) selling some more, 5) selling a lot, 6) selling to the point of hopelessness for the fan that you will ever recover, 7)no
hope of recovery,8)signs of life, 9)more signs of life, 10) the possibility that with enough fan encouragement, you can possibly
turn this thing around, 11)fire, 12) more fire, 13)fighting back, 14) comeback, 15)the post comeback, pre-finish full body
fire to signify to the people that you are back in control and the heel is gonna pay. Also, let us not forget, that one's
body should still show how wracked with pain it is from step 8-step 15 and on through the rest of the match. Understand this,
just b/c you are fired up and back in control, does not mean you should be hurting any less. It only means that you have found
a way to fight through the pain with the help of the fans support. That is why people love wrestling, b/c they feel like they
are a part of the show.
MY WWE DIVAS RANT
DISCLAIMER:these are just my opinions.
The wwe refers to there female wrestlers as Divas and not as female wrestlers, why is this. A simple
reason, Aside from the likes of Beth Pheonix, Mickie James, Natyalia Neidhart, Victoria and Katie Lea. The girls get hired
through being modles, being in the diva search or in my opinion getting down on there knees and well you get the idea.
For example, lets look at Maria, Kelly Kelly, and Candice Michelle.
Kelly Kelly was working as a model before going to OVW with no wrestling experience and shortly after
being put on ECW as a strip tease dancer.Then she was teamed with layla and the brunette girl to have a trio of stirptease
dancers. I cant help but think the only reason she is still around is she must be fucking whoevers in charge
of talent.Now as i watched kelly on ECW i wonderd, is this meant to be wrestling, sports entertainment, a caberet or soft
core porn? Though she has yet to pose in playboy or any other porn mag to the best of my knowledge though i dont think we
will have to wait long.
Maria, same deal she got in through the diva search. And has as of april 08 got naked for playboy
in a very lovely spread. same deal though no wrestling talent, she has no mic skills and is bassicly a piece of ass for the
young men to gawk at.
Candice, prior to being in the divas search she was a model, for Foot and leg fetish's
and posed topless on a few occasion as well as did a foot fetish video. Then she was brought in VIA the talent search like
most of them are. and she posed in playboy like many other divas. Are you seeing a common theme here or is it just me?
Or fuck look at michelle McCool, she was brought in at first as a valet in the role of a coach
in a top that barely covered her tits and then as a sexy teacher(rip off of stacey keibler) and now is the first and only
diva search contstant to win the weomens title. I expect she will be the diva to pose for playboy in 09.
Aside from a handfull of divas none of them are any more than hot pieces of ass in skimpy outfits
who will go on to pose in playboy. Most of them probly had to fuck there way into the business in the first place otherwise
i dont know how the fuck the got jobs.
My Favorite Wrestlers
Great Muta
Raven
Atsushi Onita
Mr.Pogo
Sting
Vampiro
Jushin 'Thunder' Liger
Ultimo Dragon
Abdullah The Butcher
Vader
Cactus Jack
AJ Styles
'The Fallen Angel'Christopher Daniels
Hayabusa
'Sick'Nick Mondo
Zandig
JC Bailey
Mad Man Pondo
Axl Rotten
New Jack
Mustafa
Krounus
Perry Saturn
Rey Mysterio
Psichosis
Kane
Undertaker
Tarzan Goto
Jun Kasai
Jaki Numazawa
NOSAWA
ChessMan
El Mesias
CM Punk
Konnan
Kevin Nash
Jeff Hardy
Matt Hardy
Christian
Kofi Kingston
BubbaRay Dudley
Devon Dudley
Yoshiro Tajiri
Mikey Whipwreck
Matt Sydal
My Favorite Promotions
FMW
BJPW
AJPW
AAA
WCW
3PW
CZW
IWA-MS
IWA-EC
IWA-JAPAN
IWS
JCW
XPW
WSX
TNA
ECCW
ECW(92-01)
WWF.
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